Sunday, March 20, 2016

Facebook - Friend, Foe or Nusiance?

It was about the middle of October last year when I was formally introduced to the glamorous world of the social media by way of Facebook.  Since that time, I have discovered that it's a magnificent place to observe people that I've never met, nor will I ever meet, engage in verbal combat to the point of questioning each others heritage, parentage and romantic relationships of their parents with four legged animals.  Being the curios type, I did a little research on this subject and here is what I found:

'The website for Facebook was launched February 4th, 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg with his Harvard College roommates Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes.  Since 2006, anyone who is at least 13 years old can become a registered user and as of August 2015, Facebook has over 1.59 billion monthly users.'  Impressive, very impressive indeed.
 
And over the past six months, in my uneducated and humble opinion, Facebook simply put is the electronic version of the coffee groups that meet at McDonald's every morning; beauty and/or barber shop gossip, the liars at the domino and pool halls, church socials, PTA meetings and any place else that enables people to share their opinion.  It's the fastest and most prolific method available of getting the word or idea out to the world on what a person knows, what they think they know, what they've read or been told, and their opinion on any topic or subject irregardless of any personal knowledge or training.

“People's assumptions are their windows of the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

“If you're going to say what you want to say, you're going to hear what you don't want to hear.”
Roberto BolaƱo, The Insufferable Gaucho  

"We must respect the other fellow's opinion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." - H. L. Mencken 
There's a direct correlation between what appears on Facebook and the latest, greatest hot story the news media is pounding into oblivion for the umpteenth time.  Remember, there are 1.59 billion people on Facebook every month, with each and everyone of them having an opinion.  And we've all heard the old definitions about opinions and they're either (a) like an asshole - everybody has one and most of them stink or (b), like military medals - most people get one whether they want it or not and they're usually not deserved.

I for one thoroughly enjoy reading the comments and opinions people make on the various topics.  Most of the time I don't participate, because either I don't have any knowledge on the subject or I have no desire to enter into a battle of wits with a person who is totally unarmed.  However, there have been a couple of instances thus far in which I just couldn't leave well enough alone and got right in the middle of a heated discussion, and I did not take any prisoners.  Two of the confrontations pertained to women breast feeding in public and nudity - real or assumed.
A color picture was posted of a young woman, looking to be in her mid-20's, breast feeding her adorable baby in what appeared to be a restaurant.  Furthermore, there was nothing in this picture to help determine if the picture was taken in Europe, where breast feeding and nudity isn't frowned upon, or if it was taken in the United States a more puritan life style.  Anyway, the majority of the responses - 171 of them - were by females who were literally ripping this mother to shreds.  A few of them did have valid input, such as suggesting the mother lay a table napkin or scarf over the baby while it was nursing, but the rest of them showed no mercy whatsoever and brought out their claws.  I personally did not think the picture was offensive nor do I have an issue with a mother breast feeding her child in public....so long as the child being feed isn't big enough to have a drivers license or needs a shave every morning.

After watching this barrage of insults and opinions, I thought "What the Hell.  Let's see if I can't whip this bunch of jokers into a frenzy."  I don't recall my exact verbiage, but it was basically my saying I was more focused on that sweet baby and not the mother's breast.  By the time a person gets to be my age and hasn't seen a woman's breast is either Amish, Hindu or has lived in a cave their entire life.
Holy sweet Mother Mary and Joseph!  The heavens opened wide, the war drums began beating, the natives were chanting and angry women came out of the wood work like cockroaches.  They got all over my big butt like a bad case of the hives. This one older woman told me I "needed to get a life" and I responded to this individual of questionable intelligence and integrity that I already have a life thank-you very much and was enjoying it immensely.  She reminds me of the kind of person that falls madly in love with every mirror she comes in contact with and the house of mirrors at the local carnival really trip her switch!

I certainly enjoyed my brief few moments of bantering with the first woman, but the following day I got zapped again by another woman for my comments about breast feeding in public.  This dainty, twinkle toed little Smurf appeared to be in her mid-30's and proceeded to outline all my faults of being a man; I was naive to think that people 'bought my ridiculous remark' about focusing on the baby nursing and not the woman's breast, all men have no respect for women and that I needed to snap into reality.  Oh...Oh...Oh...Beat me with locks, chains and rubber hoses!  Force me to ride a sucker-rod on a Texas windmill during a tornado as just punishment for being so ignorant about the worldly ways of this all encompassing woman....show time!

My response to this poor, lonely, deprived woman was and I quote, "I stand by my original statement.  I am now and have always been an advocate for children, infants in particular.  It's only when these sweet angels from heaven grow into adulthood do they unwittingly acquire the destructive traits of prejudice, arrogance, consistently being ill informed and having a narrow mind.  With your obsession regarding the size of the mother's breast and how far she had it out of her blouse to feed the baby, tends to suggest you may have smaller breasts than the mother and feel threatened.  I certainly hope my assessment of this situation is incorrect.  Wham-O!!  Whose your Daddy now snake eater? Go mama, go mama, go mama!  This is more fun than fartin' BB's at a church social!          
A very dear and sweet cousin of mine posted the following: If you had to pay a fee to be on Facebook, what would your decision be?  Of the few responses I saw, the vast majority of them said 'No' they wouldn't pay anything.  I was rather surprised by the answers; however, I do know that most parents feel they must stay on Facebook or any other social media to stay abreast of what their children and grandchildren are doing.  I'm fairly confident that something else will come along to replace Facebook just as it has replaced/reduced email interactions.  However, until such time when the social media has changed to something else, I still have ample opportunity to stir the pot with the unsuspecting.  So much material....so little time.