It's Not That Difficult

My introduction to computers was in 1982 when my entire job as an analyst was done on a Wang Word Processor and I didn't get to the universe of the Internet until about 18 months before I retired in 2002.  Over the next five years, I built myself a network of other Yahoo users to share cartoon's, jokes, pictures, stories and it was a fantastic method of staying in contact with close friends and relatives. I soon discovered, not everybody who used the internet are equipped with common sense, morals, scruples or good judgement; therefore, I took it upon myself to make a few rules of engagement when it come to what kind of information I would and would not share with my network of friends and relatives.  I had to become a censor of my own digital data and information.

Over the past 16 years, the number of internet buddies that I share jokes and pictures with has grown significantly and has gotten to the point in which people "ask" me to add them to my "funny list".  I'm very proud of the fact that at my age I still have the ability to bring a good belly laugh to a lot of people and brighten their day, even if it was for only a few seconds.  But, alas, not everyone thought my material was uplifting or funny, and of all the thousands of humorous things I've posted, there has only been "4"people who had any complaints.

Thus far, I've only had to use other alternative methods of discipline on one person who felt the need to treat me as though I were an unruly five year old.  It all started when I sent an email to everyone that had a 1950's era booklet on "How A Woman Should Treat Her Husband" and the contents were so idiotic it was funny.  The woman, however, found no humor in that email whatsoever and told me not to send her anything like that again.  I certainly didn't mean any harm, but I would respect her wishes and try my best not to get her upset with me again.  A few months later, this same woman sent me a very angry email that said "I told you not to send emails like this to me anymore.  Don't make me have to tell you again."  Let....the....games....begin.

In Texas mileage this woman lived about a days drive (8-hours) from my house, so whatever I planned on doing had to be long distance.  I came up with a four-pronged plan to demonstrate to this individual that talking to me in that fashion was not only uncalled for and not very wise on her part, but would result in a resounding, aggressive tactical encounter of the highest caliber.

Seeing as how this person of interest was somewhat a religious fanatic, I decided to send her every religious email of every type, regardless who sent it to me, and nothing else....no jokes, no cartoons, no comical pictures....just religious material.  And somewhere in those emails the word God had to appear no less than four times.  This 1st step was either going to demonstrate that I had once again bowed to her wishes or else drive her to drink, I was hoping for the latter.  My 2nd step involved going on the internet and having every free Mormon religious magazine and newspaper I could find sent directly to her home.  If by some chance steps one and two didn't get results, then I would proceed with step three in which I would order a dump truck full of crushed gravel delivered to her house and dumped in the middle of the driveway.  And if everything up to this point had failed, then I would be forced to initiate step four by calling the ASPCA and say there were a lot of strange people chanting in her backyard in the middle of the night and I could hear unusual wild animal noises.

All of this discomfort could have been avoided had this individual of questionable intelligence and integrity simply hit the delete button and went about her way. As a wise person once stated "it's not what a person says, but how they say it that will impact the outcome."  And just for the record, I've only had "four" people tell me that my emails were offensive, filled with innuendo's, sexists and anti religion.

I can say in all honesty and without any fear of contraindication, that far more people enjoy and look forward to my emails than the mere handful who do not.  This pleases me greatly.