It's That High Level Math - Numbers Don't Add Up

Two weeks ago I went to my local UPS store to check my business mail box and upon my entering, I noticed a young man approximately 6'6" and weighed about 275lbs with two extremely large cardboard boxes.  Once this man departed the store, I walked over to the clerk and asked just how large those boxes were and was informed they were the largest size boxes UPS has in stock.  The clerk went on to tell me the boxes were going to be used for shipping two deer heads and each with a rather large rack of antlers, and it was going to cost this particular person at least $300 in shipping costs alone.

As I was walking back to my truck, I got to thinking about how much money this young man was going to spend in getting these two deer heads and antlers to their final destination and a million questions ran through my mind.  Such as, where is the rest of the skin and meat of these animals and what did he do with them?  I know from personal experience that any type of hunting or sport can become very expensive, if allowed to.  The only hunting I personally have done is for elk and whitetail deer in the Colorado Rockies, and quail and dove in the panhandle of Texas.  And each time I did go hunting I always had to walk over the terrain and never had the pleasure of using dogs to point and fetch. My hunting clothes was weather dependent and were the same ones I wore on a daily basis when working outside.  And before I forget, hunting and killing rattlesnakes' doesn't count.

For reasons unknown, I just couldn't stop thinking about how much it costs the average person in today's economy to go hunting, regardless of what type of animal was being hunted.  When I got home I immediately went to my computer and started a list of items that I thought would be needed to be a successful deer hunter in south Texas and to be perfectly honest, I was more than amazed.  I'm certainly in the wrong damn business!  The folks at Bass Pro and Cabela's are laughing all the way to the bank.  The more research I did on this subject the more questions I had; therefore, I had to build a financial model that would at least give me a ball park figure of what it would cost to shoot one adult male deer.  The hunter in my model was going to be:

(a) male or female and over 21 years old;
(b) doesn't play "hold my beer and watch this";
(c) middle-income and lives in town and/or city;
(d) top of the line clothing and equipment was NOT used;
(e) has been taught good hunting skills; and
(f) eats what they kill

Note: What isn't built into this model is the weapon of choice (i.e., rifle, pistol, cross bow, long bow), ammunition, arrows or whether the property owner on which the hunt is taking place is a friend, neighbor, old school pal or relative.

So, after a few hours researching the various sports websites here is what I came up with.

                        Whitetail Deer Hunting Season 7 Nov 2015 - 17 Jan 2016

- Hunting License: $25
- Hunting Lease: $2,000 per gun (this is the going price around here)
- Average weight of a buck is 150-300lbs -- 100lbs of meat is all that will be gotten

- Trail Camera: $99.99
- Nikon Aculon Binoculars: $179.95 (Zoom)

- Boss Duck Deer Feeder: $319.99 (55gal tripod - fill every 2-3 weeks)

- Deer Corn: $5.99 - per 40lb bag
- Feeder Filled 4 Times: $8,625.60 (40lbs X 9 = 360lbs X $5.99 = $2,156.40 per fill)

- Camo Boots: $99.99
- Camo Pants: $34.99
- Camo Shirts: $69.99
- Camo Gloves: $34.99

- Processing The Meat: $400 (steaks, roasts, etc.)

- UPS Cardboard Box: $11.65
- Shipping Costs: $300

Grand Total: $12,208.73 -- Divide a 100lbs of meat into $12,208.73 and that equals $122.08 pound!

Now, at my local grocery store a pound of chopped Sirloin is $5.19 a pound and for 100 pounds of this steak it would cost me $519!  Oooooooo....that cow's butt is looking a lot better for my wallet than steaks from some deer that likes to bounce through the wilderness.

I have friends, relatives and neighbors who work all year and never leave home or go past the county line for anything, except when it's deer season and then they're off like a pair of dirty underwear for a week or longer.  They tell me that going hunting is very relaxing for them and it's a way to re-charge the ole' batteries, be one with nature(??), get a little me time without the old lady and kids biting at their heels, and to do a little male-bonding with their buddies.  These are certainly valid reasons to hunt, fish, play sports or whatever floats your boat; however, when it comes to the cost, that's where I have to jump ship.  Now, when I told this story to my female optometrist at my last exam she said and I quote, "A $122 per pound is without a doubt a lot of money, BUT I'm more than happy to pay that amount, and more if necessary, to get my husband out of the house for a week."  She went on to say "Not all wives are miserable when the husband is gone hunting with their buddies.  It means a week of quite evenings, less meals to prepare, no haggling over which tv programs to watch and no having to constantly yell out towards the kitchen 'don't forget to shut the refrigerator door'."  What could I say?  She makes a very outstanding argument.

Whenever a hunter sits in a tree stand or behind a blind and literally teaches the wildlife to come to feed where there is a constant source of food so they can hopefully get a kill shot,  that's not my definition of hunting.  To me it's more of "bait and wait" than walking, trailing and stalking the animal. Testing the humor spirit and skill against that of a wild animal is certainly a testosterone event.