Friday, October 16, 2015

It Takes All Kinds

Over the past few years, I've come to realize there are at least four, possibly more, basic categories of humans and they are: (a) Doer's; (b) Followers; (c) Dome Dwellers; and (d) "Those People".  Those individuals who fall into the Doer's category are the one's who are the leaders of industry, President of the PTA, den mother of a Brownie troop, coaching a youth sport or any event or function requiring initiative and leadership.  Followers, which is where the majority of people are, like to go to work; put in their required time; don't ask me to do anything extra or stay late; work only Monday-Friday; no weekends or holidays, and only work daylight hours.  They're pretty much "rule followers" and have difficulty in thinking independently....that's why they don't become supervisors or managers.

I took the name Dome Dwellers from a television show that tells the fictional story of residents in a small town where a massive, transparent, seemingly indestructible dome suddenly cuts them off from the rest of the world.  With no internet access, no mobile signals and limited communication, the people trapped inside must find their own ways to survive with diminishing resources and rising tensions.  I personally know quite a few people who fit this category to a "T". These folks have basically withdrawn from society; not real keen on being around people; prefer to being left alone unless otherwise notified; get along better with their pets and animals because humans are just too damned complicated for their liking; their ideas, likes and dislikes are the only ones worthy of consideration; everyone outside the inner circle are liars and cheats; the Federal government and its' associated agencies are totally useless and should've been dismantled decades ago; and everything the news media puts out to the general public is just plain old bull shit....period.

As for "Those People", well, they're a bred all to themselves and have evolved over the past three centuries.  When this nation was still largely wilderness, these were people who were mauled by bears; scalped by the Indians; died from hunger and thirst; and committed acts of cannibalism because they tried to cross the Sierra Nevada mountains during the middle of winter.  Can you say the Donner Party in the winter of 1846-1847?  They're just too damned stupid to survive on their own.  However, since that time, there have been massive improvements in the fields of medicine and society as a whole to where now these same types of individuals are not only thriving, but they can also vote and pro-create!  "Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is just no cure for stupidity."

Since retiring 14 years ago, I've kind of fallen between two categories - Doers and Followers.  If a situation requires for somebody to step-up and make a decision or take the lead, then I will become a Doer in a flash.  However, whenever I attend any family reunions, get togethers at Christmas or Thanksgiving I will always work hard at being a Follower.  My making any attempts at inserting logic and common sense at any family function would be like trying to put a jock strap on a gorilla in a phone booth.  It's just not worth the pain and agony.  As my dearly departed stepfather used to say "You can choose your friends, but you damn sure can't choose your relatives."

Over the past 10-20 years, my wife and I have attended family gatherings that resembled scenes from the movies One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and To Hell and Back.  It doesn't take much analytical skills to figure out the "little family get together" has the potential of getting out of hand, when there are three sheriff deputies cars parked across the street and the officers are wearing their riot gear.  And if there is alcohol of any kind on the premises, it's a sure fire bet there's gonna be at a minimum of at least one ass whoopin' take place before anybody goes home!  Oh yeah.  And should there be any hard feelings, unsettled disputes or grievances from the past that haven't been resolved and had time to fester out of control, then let the games begin!  Uncle Zeak and Aunt Claudia are trash talkin' each other in the living room, Booger and Bubba are throwing punches out in the front yard over some butt ugly girl that looks as though she French kissed a Black & Decker chain saw, and all the while Granny is beatin' Pa over the head in the hall because she found one of those blow-up sex dolls in his tool shed.  And to top it all off, Aunt Gladys and her lesbian girlfriend are on the back porch suckin' face with all the little nieces and nephews watching. Yes sir, nothing like gettin' all the kin folk together for a nice, action packed, fun filled holiday weekend!

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